By the time this article appears I would have buried my beloved mother, Alger James Griffin age 74. In the midst of the busiest years of my life and career, just as I am beginning to accept my own aging, I lose my mother. My mother’s death will be a transforming event in my life. I am more determined to become the best person that I can be. 

In my effort to cope with my mother’s death I have done a considerable amount of research on the effect that losing a parent has on an adult child. Considering the fact that I had no unresolved issues with my mother I have been able to cope quite well with her passing. I saw my mother every day for the last sixteen years. I spoke with her at least three times each day. It is truly well with my soul. 

As long as my mother was alive I knew that no matter how old I became or what circumstance I could find myself in, I always knew that my mother would be there for me. A mother’s love is truly from the cradle to the grave! The hardest thing about losing my mother is realizing that no one will ever care about me as much as she did. Nobody will ever love you as much as your parents! 

Statistics tell us the following: the death of a parent is the most predictable major life event of persons aged thirty-five to sixty. The death of a parent is the most common cause of grief by adults in our society. By the time an adult is fifty-four years old, 50 percent would have lost both parents, and by age sixty-two, 75 percent would have lost both parents. A period of thirteen years separates the death of one parent from the other. A mother’s death usually occurs when her adult children are between the ages of forty-five and sixty-four (I am forty-eight soon to be forty-nine in a month and a half). A father usually dies when his adult children are between the ages of thirty-five and fifty-four.  My mother, Alger James Griffin was a forty-five year cancer survivor. She was born on December 22, 1932 in Jamesville, North Carolina.  She was the daughter of the late Dallas James and the late Girlean James. She departed this life on April 30, 2007 at Baptist South Hospital in Montgomery, Alabama. “Honey” as she was affectionately called by her loving husband Dr. Melvin J. Griffin Sr. lived a fantastic and wonderful life.  

She is preceded in death by one son, Melvin J. Griffin Jr. (2003); four brothers: Macintosh James, Charlie James, Dallas James and Calvin James. 

She confessed Christ at an early age and joined Union Town Church of Christ in Jamesville, North Carolina. She was very proud of her heritage yet very humble. She was the great granddaughter of Stuart and Lucretia James one of the wealthiest and most generous landowner couples in Jamesville, North Carolina. In honor of her Native American Heritage she became a member of the Machapunga-Tuscarora Indian Tribal Association, Inc.  

She married the love of her life, Dr. Melvin J. Griffin Sr. in 1954. They were happily married for more than 52 years. To this union they had three sons, Napoleon Winston Griffin, Melvin J. Griffin Jr. and Attorney Greg Griffin. 

Honey enjoyed singing in the church choir and cooking. She also enjoyed her part in raising most of her grandchildren. She picked up her Montgomery, Alabama oldest and youngest grandchildren Greg Jr. and Christopher from school everyday until four months before her death.  She will be greatly missed. 

Honey was persuaded by her youngest son Greg to attend college when she was 43 years old. She graduated with a degree in Early Childhood Education from Shaw University in three years with a perfect 4.0 average. (Valedictorian)  When she and her husband moved to Montgomery, Alabama in 1990 she obtained a job teaching the first grade at Flowers Elementary. Honey decided after one week of teaching it was time to quit and decided to assist in the raising and caring of her Montgomery grandchildren. She was especially proud of her appointment by Alabama Attorney General Troy King as a Honorary Deputy Attorney General on October 15, 2004 which he presented to her at her Capital City Club 50^th Wedding Anniversary Celebration. 

Honey recently began dialysis treatment at the Dialysis Center located on South Jackson Street. Three weeks later she was rushed to Baptist South Hospital with a zero blood count. She would remain in the medical intensive care unit for over two months until she passed on Monday April 30, 2007 at 6:02 p.m. 

She will forever be loved and missed by her loving husband Dr. Melvin J. Griffin Sr and her two devoted sons: Napoleon Winston Griffin (Jane) of Louisburg, N.C. and Atty. Greg Griffin Sr. (Debra) of Montgomery, Al; one brother, Earl James of Brooklyn, New York; one granddaughter, Alexis Ivana Griffin, of Montgomery, Al; eight grandsons: Napoleon Winston Griffin II of Fort Washington, Maryland; Alexander W. Griffin of Franklinton, N.C; Julius H. Griffin of Louisburg, N.C and William A. Griffin of Louisburg, N.C; Joshua Corey Griffin of Winston Salem, N.C. and Melvin J. Griffin III of Winston Salem, N.C; Gregory Oswald Griffin Jr. of Montgomery, Al; and Christopher Michael McGuire Griffin of Montgomery, Al; one great granddaughter, Azaria’ Renee George Griffin and one great grandson, Josiah Griffin  of Winston Salem, N.C; three sister-in-laws: Grace Perkins and Barbara Griffin both of Williamston, N.C; and Janice Griffin of Baltimore, Maryland; two brother-in-laws: John Griffin (Tina) Horace Griffin (Dorothy) both of Williamston, N.C; adopted goddaughter, Felicia Owens and adopted god grandson, Adam McCall both of Montgomery, Al; a host of nieces, nephews, cousins and friends.

Greg Griffin is a free lance writer. You can read his previous articles by visiting his web page at www.greggriffin.com or write to him at P.O. Box 250194 Montgomery, Alabama 36125-0194.