Griffin Speaks

"THE SECRET TO MARRYING THE IDEAL MAN"

Years ago I became friends with an extraordinary woman whom I will call Mrs. B. At the time of her passing she was 101 years old and the oldest living graduate of Tuskegee University. Mrs. B was handed her diploma from the legendary Booker T. Washington in 1915. She was the personal nurse for one of President Roosevelt's children. She was one of the most amazing women in the Tuskegee Community.

One summer day I called Mrs. B and asked her if she would like to accompany me to Lake Martin and ride on my pontoon boat. She quickly agreed to the outing. What I learned on that boat ride I wanted to share with all women who hoped to find the ideal husband.

Perplexed by the number of lonely single women that I saw daily, I asked Mrs. B what she thought was their problem. This is what she had to say: "WOMEN TODAY DO NOT KNOW THE SECRET TO CATCHING THE IDEAL HUSBAND. THEY ARE TOO LOUD! A MAN WANTS A QUIET WOMAN. THESE YOUNG WOMEN TALK TO MUCH! THEY TELL TOO MUCH OF THEIR BUSINESS! THEY ARE TOO PROMISCUOUS, TOO WILLING TO GIVE UP THE MILK FOR FREE. A MAN DOESN'T WANT A FEMALE COMPETITOR. HE WANTS A HELPER. HE WANTS SOMEONE THAT HE CAN TRUST AND ADMIRE."

TODAY WOMEN WEAR TOO MANY IMITATION THINGS. A MAN OFTEN WONDERS WHAT SHE HAS THAT IS REAL. THE HAIR IS OFTEN FAKE AND FULL OF GLUE, THE EYE COLOR IS FAKE, THE BODY IS FULL OF REPLACEMENT PARTS."

Mrs. B believed that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. "LEARN TO COOK A DECENT MEAL!" "LEARN TO KEEP A CLEAN AND TIDY HOME! YOU SHOULD NEVER LET A PROSPECTIVE HUSBAND SEE YOU OR YOUR HOME LOOKING A MESS!" TOO MANY WOMEN TODAY BRAG ABOUT THEIR INABILITY TO PREPARE A MEAL. THEY ARE DESTINED TO BE SINGLE! A MAN LOVES TO EAT!" " IF YOU WANT TO MARRY THE IDEAL MAN, YOU MUST LET HIM SEE THAT YOU ARE WILLING TO DO WHAT IT TAKES TO BECOME THE IDEAL WIFE."

According to Mrs. B the ideal wife will praise her future husband daily. "SHE WILL NEVER SPEAK LOUDER THAN A WHISPER IN PUBLIC. WHEN HIS FRIENDS COME OVER TO THE HOUSE, SHE WILL KNOW TO RETREAT TO THE BACK ROOM. IF HE TELLS HER THAT HE IS GOING TO THE MOON AND WILL RETURN SHORTLY, SHE MUST RESPOND, "HAVE A SAFE TRIP!" "SHE WOULD NEVER CRITICIZE HIM IN PUBLIC. SHE WOULD BE HESITANT TO CRITICIZE HIM IN PRIVATE. SHE WOULD SELDOM COMPLAIN. SHE WOULD SIMPLY HAVE TO AGREE TO BE A DOOR MAT FOR THIS IDEAL MAN. SHE MUST ALWAYS MAKE HIM FEEL IMPORTANT! SHE MUST MAKE HIM FELL LIKE A KING AT ALL TIMES!

I was amazed at what this legendary and amazing woman had revealed to me. I quickly asked her if she believed that it was worth it for a woman to sacrifice so much of her dignity to marry this so called ideal man. She responded, "ABSOLUTELY NOT! MARRIAGE IS A WASTE OF TIME!!!!!

In the next Montgomery-Tuskegee Times I will discuss how my wife and I became MULTIMILLIONAIRES. GREG GRIFFIN can be reached a www.greggriffin.com