Griffin Speaks

THE SLEEP OVER

Kids love to sleep over at other kids homes. I very rarely allow it believing that it is best that everyone sleep in their own house, in their own bed. Many times children are allowed to sleep at a friend’s house even though their parents do not really know the parents of the friend. This can prove to be a huge mistake. 

When you allow your children to sleep outside the home you surrender a great deal of control over what could happen to them. As parents you have a duty to protect your children from danger. The greatest danger is subjecting them to a pedophile. 

Pedophiles prefer to be with children, and they prefer to be with them on the child’s level. They usually carry on with children in a childish way. Research has dictated that there is a pedophile for every square mile of America (250,000 to 500,000). Pedophiles are found in all walks of life.  

I was very sad to open my Tuesday morning paper on January 11, 2005 and read that Rev.Garett Albert Dykes, a very prominent minister at Calvary Baptist Church in Wetumpka, Alabama was arrested and charged with three counts of sexual abuse, three counts of production of obscene matter of someone under 17 and one count of sodomy. Sheriff Bill Franklin was quoted as saying, “In my 25 years in law enforcement, I have never met someone who was so calm, cool and collected about a situation like this.” According to Sheriff Bill Franklin, Rev. Dykes admitted his involvement and was very forthcoming. What he told the sheriff and his chief deputy was almost a mirror image of what the victims had alleged. 

The abuse, which Rev. Dykes wanted to plead guilty to, took place at his home, authorities reported. The victims all under the age of 10 were videotaped and abused while they slept over at Dyke’s home. Rev. Dykes is married and the couple has three children, all under the age of 10. Rev. Dykes admitted to Sheriff Bill Franklin that he had a problem. 

How can we protect our children from Pedophiles? In the January 11, 2005 Montgomery Advertiser article: “Minister Faces Abuse Charges” a very good list of ways to prevent child abuse is included: According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, we must encourage our children to express affection on their own terms; Don’t insist that your children hug or kiss people. Beware of the adult that always insist that your child “sit on their lap and play horsy”; Check out the people at places where children congregate in a community, get to know them; pay attention when adults seem to utilize social occasions to overly focus on befriending a child, make unannounced visits to a child’s nursery, baby sitter, day-care center or school; make sure there are no places off limits to parents; check whether a child’s school includes sex-abuse prevention training; don’t allow a child to go alone on vacation, drive around or spend the night with someone other than those proven to be trustworthy; don’t automatically assume that people are trustworthy because of their position, title or that they are working where children gather. 

So the next time little Johnny or little Susie ask to sleep over at a friend’s house tell them that it's fine if you can sleep over with them. The only way to know that your child is safe at night is when they are in their own home and sleeping in their own bed. However in some cases where child abuse occurs at home they aren’t even safe in the home. In our house we have a “no secrets from parents policy” so far it has worked well. My standard lines to Alexis when she ask to sleep over at a friend’s house or request to extend an invitation to someone is: “Everybody should sleep in their own house and in their own bed!” “Call me crazy and eccentric but that’s the way I see it!” 

Greg Griffin is a free lance writer. You can read his previous articles by visiting his web page at www.greggriffin.com