Griffin Speaks
IS TIGERS WOODS GAY?
I
met with the street committee at Church’s Fried Chicken on Fairview Avenue
in Montgomery, Alabama and the reaction to Tiger’s news conference was
mixed. There is nothing like public opinion in the Hood! One lady, who
refused to give her name for this article complained about missing her show.
She said that now days when you see Breaking News come across the T V screen
it really isn’t breaking news. She went on to say, “ He shouda married a
sista, he wouldn’t need all those white women!” First thang a black man
does when he get a piece of money is go and get him some white tail.” “It’s a shame and disgrace.” “Now me, I could show
him a trick or two.” “If he had been married to a sista, it wouldn’t
be no press conference, he’d be dead!” I then said, He doesn’t
consider himself black. She said, “He betta look in the mirror.” “They
show treating him like he’s black.” I said, You don’t think it’s
racial do you? She said, “Do you see John Edwards standing on TV
apologizing to the public for cheating on his dying wife. He ran for
President.” “These white folks are a mess. You can’t go so high that
they can’t bring your butt down.” “Rich and famous and standing up in
front of millions of white folks talking about he sorry, Negro
Please!" The whole thang makes me sick to my stomach.”
“Yall a learn one day!” “White women, White women. If he divorces this
one he betta come down to Alabama and get him a sista. She’ll take care of
those needs” “He don’t need no sex addiction clinic, he just needs the
right woman, like yours truly.” Considering that she looked like
homemade soap with three teeth in her mouth, I don’t think this lady will
have a chance.
Just as I finished talking to the lady that looked like homemade soap, in walked Dr. Wa Wa Woo, a nickname given to him by me. I love talking to him because he has an opinion about everything. Dr. Wa Wa Woo opined that Tiger was in fact gay, but unaware that he was gay. Pray tell I said. Dr. Wa Wa Woo said, “it is evident by the fact that he can not be satisfied sexually with his beautiful wife and therefore he runs behind several beautiful white women ruining his reputation. He does not have a sex addiction problem. Your boy Tiger is just sticking his Tiger in the wrong tank!” Dr. Wa Wa Woo, also known as the “Hood Drunk” sometimes raises some interesting questions. Dr. Wa Wa Woo’s theory is that Tiger can
not be satisfied by a woman and does not understand why. He thinks that Tiger is gay and simply does not realize it.I
don’t agree with Dr. Wa Wa Woo, but I do think that there is more to all
of this than meets the eye and ear. My thoughts and prayers go out to Tiger
and his family. I hope that through this ordeal that Tiger will turn from
his wicked ways and seek God. He is in such a wonderful position to praise
God. On this day he should chose who he will serve: God or Golf! I recommend
that Tiger and Elin go on a couple’s retreat with that smiling preacher
and his wife. You know Joel and Victoria Olsteen. He will never stray again.
In the words of my dad, “You must honor the chair whether it is sitting, walking or lying down.”
Greg Griffin is a free lance writer. You can read his previous articles by visiting his web page at www.greggriffin.com or write to him at P.O. Box 250194 Montgomery, Alabama 36125-0194.