How many times have you heard about a couple married for 30 years and divorce after the kids are gone? It happens too frequently and the number one reason is because one spouse takes the other spouse for granted. Oh he or she will never leave. “Honey he isn’t going anywhere.” (Famous last words!) 

Are you clueless to your dying marriage? Have you taken your spouse for granted? I received a call the other month from a guy that was referred to me who was contemplating giving up on his marriage. He said that he had become bored with the relationship. The wife had let herself go and the kids simply viewed him as a walking ATM machine. The house was filthy and the home cooked meals were all but extinct. He and his wife were married for thirty years and she did not have a clue how unhappy he was with her and the kids. When I asked him why he hadn’t told her, he replied, “I told her every day, but she wouldn’t listen. So here I am getting ready to simply throw in the towel after thirty years, because she refused to hear me.” We see it every day, the overweight ex-spouse going on a diet after the husband or wife dumps them. 

We see the devastated spouse who had no idea that the long term marriage was in trouble. So many marriages are dying and the signs are there, but couples refuse to see them or they simply get to the point that they do not care. Couples should check in with their spouse periodically and see where they stand.  I counseled the man and he talked to his wife. She had no idea that he wasn’t happy. They have agreed to seek counseling from a professional marriage counselor. So how is your marriage? Will your marriage be the next casualty? Are you listening to your spouse? Tighten up your act and save your marriage.